Unable to Concentrate on Work…..so Survey Says!

Original instructions: Read the “offense” and if you’ve done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you’ve read each “offense” and added up your total fine.

This survey is amazingly retarded and pointless, therefore a testament to my fear in tackling a new project.

Smoked pot — $10

Did acid — $5

Ever had sex at church — $25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40

Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25

Had sex for money — $100

Ever had sex with the a Puerto Rican (WTF?) — $20

Vandalized something — $20

Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10

Beat up someone — $20

Been jumped — $10

Crossed dressed — $10

Given money to stripper — $25

Been in love with a stripper — $20

Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10

Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15

Ever drive drunk — $20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50

Used toys while having sex — $30

Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20

Went skinny dipping — $5

Had sex in a pool — $20

Kissed someone of the same sex — $10

Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20

Cheated on your significant other — $10

Masturbated — $10

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend –$20

Done oral — $5

Got oral — $5

Done / got oral in a car while it was moving — $25

Stole something — $10

Had sex with someone in jail — $25

Made a nasty home video — $15

Had a threesome — $50

Had sex in the wild — $20

Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20

Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20

Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50

Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25

Went streaking — $5

Went streaking in broad daylight — $15

Been arrested — $5

Spent time in jail — $15

Peed in the pool — $0.50

Played spin the bottle — $5

Done something you regret — $20

Had sex with your best friend — $20

Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25

Had anal sex — $80

Lied to your mate — $5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

My total fine is a mere $910.60

–no strippers were harmed in the production of my
survey nor have I ever been in jail–
I only want to know if I’ll be taken away in handcuffs now…


~Miss R

Currently listening:
The Best of Chris Rea
By: Chris Rea

14 thoughts on “Unable to Concentrate on Work…..so Survey Says!

  1. Rachael,

    Loved the quiz. 1:30am Saturday morning, trying to find a decent horror movie I found your blog. Thanks for the blog roll. I do appreciate it.

    I had some questions about the quiz:

    Do I get a $25 fine for every time I’ve had sex at church? If so I figure in 18 years my wife and I probably managed it at least 5x a year so that’s like 90 times. Just wondered.

    I also think for people with my previous occupation you could add not just being drunk at work, but how about preaching drunk? I personally haven’t done that but I know many who have.

    I used my Etch-a-Sketch one time during sex, does that qualify as using a toy during sex?

    I just came across the “masterbated” category. I guess it must be you only get one fine per topic or all men would owe thousands upon thousands of dollars. I guess I only get $10 here and $25 for sex in church.

    My fine: $545.00 and worth every penny. In fact, there are a few of these I think I need to have as goals.

    I love your blog and think you deserve the Whore Church Seal of Approval. Enjoy!


  2. I must be slipping – I got the survey by email from a young college girl and she and her circle of friends were in the $200 to $500 range. I proudly sent her my score of $705.60 and declared myself a contender for world class sexual pervert.

    It’s all relative as I now find I’m just a pretender in the Big league of Las Vegas.

    I’ll just have to “work harder” in few good years I have left.


  3. You betcha.
    Dispensing punishment is new for me, being a sub and all, but I’m going to make an exception so that you may atone…
    YOU have to wear the cool-ass Pope Hat while you’re doing your lover next time. No cheating and trying to use a lame Cardinal’s Hat either!


  4. That’s all I ever wear. The chicks dig it. That and the popemobile.

    In fact, the whole purpose of my vestments is to allow me to go naked underneath and allow a stiff breeze around my privates.


  5. Anxieties about antidepressants, magnified by the ongoing debate over their side effects, extend beyond mental health professionals who face competitors with prescription pads.

    The influence of this critique was illustrated by the cover story of the November 2004 issue of Forbes magazine. Under the headline “Just Say No: How America Could Kick Its Prescription Drug Habit,” the article clucked, “The 1990s made pill-popping for happiness an acceptable therapeutic alternative for millions of even mildly depressed patients.” Forbes approvingly quoted a patient who said, “Drugs just mask the problem.

    If a drug were discovered that could eliminate the need for arduous physical therapy following stroke or spinal injury, it would be hailed by patients and physicians alike


  6. Idetrorce seems to leave identical spam messages with absolutely no point on everyone’s blog.

    I’ve deleted a dozen or so today.

    I think he meant to do things in such a way as to give him incoming links, but he didn’t configure his Spaminator 3000 properly. So not only is he a spammer, he’s a really dumb spammer.


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