Hire me or adopt me or kill me

It’s November 1st.
“So what?” I hear you say.
Well, November is a strange month for Miss R.
The obsession with Christmas and the holidays will begin.
The weather may or may not turn conducive to skiing.
Finding last year’s winter wardrobe is a challenge.
Finding out if last year’s wardrobe still fits is always paralyzing.
Of course about everyone in my family has a birthday coming up in the next month as well.
In the next 4 days alone there are three of them.
Matter of fact I’m flying down to Laguna on Saturday morning to celebrate my dad’s 75th and my niece’s 19th.
In less than two weeks I’ll be another year older as well. Jesus.
This isn’t the reason that November 1st agitates and frightens me though. Not this year.

Today marks the first time in more than 20 years that I do not have the rent or mortgage payment on time. Hell, I don’t have any of it and the chances of coming across almost $700.00 in the next 24 hours are pretty bleak.
Halloween wasn’t the only scary thing this week.

Now that it comes down to the bottom line I don’t really want to leave Reno.
Yes Idyllwild is where my daughter is and I miss her. Many old friends and acquaintances are in Idyllwild.
My dad’s getting older and he’s in Idyllwild.
Idyllwild itself is gorgeous and serene.
It’s just that…. I don’t wanna go.

Sure it’s better moving to the same town as my father as opposed to my mother. I can probably get a job quite simply in Idyllwild; I know way too many people there. Moving to Placerville instead entails far more difficulty in finding employment.
If I can’t find a viable job in Reno there’s sure as hell not going to be one in Placerville or Pollock Pines.

Reasons to Go:

1. Have my daughter back home with me. Her grades are back up to A’s and B’s and the goth make-up seems to be a thing of the past as well. She’ll still be an obnoxious ungrateful teen who buys her clothes at Hot Topic but I can live with that.

2. Be closer to my Dad. He’s looking and acting older each time I see him. It freaks me out.

3. My alcoholic friends.

4. The solitude and beauty of daily walks on forest trails. The breathtaking sight of the pines and mountains covered in winter snow.

5. It’s cheaper to live in Idyllwild and there are no ‘transitional’ or iffy neighborhoods. It’s in the middle of National Forest for godssake.

6. Potential employment opportunities at the private Arts High School or for a local business (i.e. old friend).

7. I can’t find a damned job in Reno. Over-qualified. Under-qualified. Have applied for every conceivable position from Web Designer to Barista to Sales Rep in the last few months. Nada.

8. I have no close relationships in Reno anymore. Not my daughter and not a lover or boyfriend.

Reasons to Stay:

1. I fucking hate packing and moving.

2. Idyllwild is a small village. I will never get laid again in my life.

3. There are people in Reno I will miss.

4. No skiing in Idyllwild and the closest ski resorts are a three hour drive to Big Bear.

5. Idyllwild is a small village. I will never get laid again in my life.

6. The closest large stores to Idyllwild are a minimum of one hour away. Down a winding narrow mountain road. Everything’s pretty damned close to home here in Reno. The Truckee River, Wingfield Park, Downtown, and shopping.

7. My father and step-mother live in Idyllwild. Yes at age xx I’m still worried about my parents knowing everything that I do.

8. I left Idyllwild as ‘Someone.’ I’ll return as a groveling pathetic shell of my former glorious self. The humiliation co-efficient is astronomical. Being a nobody in Reno is okay with me. Under the radar and all.

9. Idyllwild is a small village. I will never get laid again in my life.

What to do. What to do.
Of course when my ass is on the street there may not be any decision left to me. So there you have it. A few months bitching about being this looming possibility and now that time is here. Right in my face.

Well fuck me to tears.

~Miss R

Currently listening :
Every Second Counts
By Plain White T’s
Release date: 26 February, 2007

11 thoughts on “Hire me or adopt me or kill me

  1. When I went back to the small town my family is in I had too much to drink in a bar one night and did what you do in a small town when you have too much to drink, I walked to a friend’s and crashed on her couch. So what did the nice people at the bar do? They called my dad. “Oh my God,she left here and we think she might be driving!” So my dad is all fragged about me possibly being on the road too snockered to drive while I am snoozing away on a friend’s sofa oblivious and when I wake up in the morning hello there is all kinds of excitement.

    They call your parents on you in small towns. Be warned.


  2. Yes! This is a stellar reason to stay away from areas which are known for parental infestation.
    I just got back from yet another pointless job interview here in Reno. Keep your fingers crossed that I can stay here and avoid the World ‘O Parents.


  3. Hey, I think I’m missing something here. Why Reno as opposed to other parts of Nevada?

    Also, you are super talented and your skills reasonably marketable…aside from you daughter being over there, have you considered the East Coast?

    Just trying to help. Honestly, it’s hard for me to read your blog because this particular design makes me squint my eyes and I have fucked up eyesight. So it’s hard for me to keep up. Sorry!


  4. damn. first off i’m gonna change the format of the blog. didn’t realize it was evil on the eyes. trust me i’m there.

    Picked Reno because it was supposed to be a fab place for small business (my original plan being a retailer for 10 years and stocked to the gills with inventory), great skiing, and far enough from mom to be viable but close enough to dad (and my daughter’s father too no not the same guy this isn’t Chinatown) to make airline tickets far cheaper.
    Oh yeah there’s great skiing here in Tahoe.

    I lived in NYC for almost 10 years. Miss it. Have friends there. Considered it before coming to Reno but my daughter vetoed the idea.


  5. If you don’t mind me asking, how old again is your daughter?

    I suppose it’s that whole making sacrifices for children at the expense of what’s best for us thing.

    Yeah, I see you thriving in New York.

    Well, what about Vegas? Did I already ask this? Excuse me if I did.


  6. the Demon Seed (aka my daughter) is 14. We did have a good time this weekend, despite the insanity of the remainder of the family and despite her valiant attempt to instigate guilt, anger and every other emotion which a 14 year old is capable of manipulating their parents into 😉

    never thought of vegas because i don’t know anyone there. when i moved to reno i was dating -very long distance of course- the professor of atmospheric physics here at the university. he subsequently dumped me two months after my arrival; he was not ‘over’ his ex-wife yet. ugh.
    why? is there something in vegas worth moving there for?
    besides penn and teller?
    do tell!


  7. Besides an endless array of cool nightlife? Well, everyone keeps telling me about how the job market in Vegas is growing…plus it’s cheap, and it’s exciting! Lots of transient men too hahaha

    Professor of atmospheric physics? Sounds real exciting!


  8. well vegas is closer to SoCal and my dad and
    airline tickets for my daughter to go visit her dad would be cheaper.
    mmm transient men and cheap living? that sounds rather enticing -grin-

    as for the professor…. one of the problems we had was his love of exercise/biking over exercise/fucking.
    what the hell is up with that?
    brilliant mind, good looking guy, and no sex drive as his testosterone had been drained by the constant cycling and hiking.
    hell when he broke up with me he actually TOLD me that he preferred his exercise regime to sex.

    total nutter.


  9. Hey Mike,
    I lived in NYC during the 1980’s and actually met my first husband while I lived there. Went on tons of dates back then but in my 8 years as a New Yorker only had two relationships. Hmmmm maybe you’re on to something!
    Do you think that things have changed drastically? Is it an age thing? I was in my early to late 20’s then?
    Am off to read more on your blog.


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