Your Racist Friends

Part One of Two by She Who Never Gets Her Ass into These Subjects

Let me start by saying that guests in my home have to follow but one rule: No discussion of Politics or Religion at a party.

Don’t care if you make drinks and puke on the carpet, have kinky sex with a Beanie Baby in the back bedroom –please for godssake close the door- , discuss your fabulous precious snowflakes –you will be shut down quickly on this one- or build a mountain out of mashed potatoes.

Just no politics or religion.


So, met a new guy. Like him lots, he makes me laugh, is tall enough to reach stuff in the kitchen on the higher shelves; brown sugar, baking powder, otter pops for summer and all the food items that are rarely used.

He can fix a car (the strange metal devices that cost me hundreds of dollars only to sit parked on the street for months at a time), build shelving out of metal (this whole metal thing is clearly an attraction) and like myself, is a total geek. More than a geek. An Uber Geek! Master of computer tech and hardware. And a nerd. Ah, to joke about I’m The Fucking Batman with someone other than my daughter.

Best of all he tells me I’m beautiful. Not sexy or cute. Beautiful.

Ask any woman and she’ll tell you that this is the sure-fire panty peeler line.

Weirdness Factor: He’s a Republican. I’m a moderate Progressive. Not a Dem. Not Indie. The point is that we don’t shove our beliefs own each other’s throats and even joke about them

Here’s the problem: Remember that tune by They Might Be Giants?

Your Racist Friends?

Well, my new honey has got ‘em. In droves. Not all of them, some are quite rational even if we do not subscribe to the same beliefs.

It’s the trolls. The righteous who post incessantly on Facebook, take over conversation at parties, online, and god forbid you’re trapped with one of them in a car for extended periods of time.

We’re not talking Republicans. Independents, Libertarians or even disgruntled Bush supporters. Teabaggers are afraid of these guys.

These friends of my new love are rabid Kill Obama (seriously), Kill and Deport ALL Muslims (seriously and hopefully in that order) and return all illegal aliens (oddly enough they only hate on Mexicans) to their home soil. Preferably in the same way they suggest disposing of the Muslims.

Beck is a god and ‘never lies.’ Sarah Palin is the most intelligent woman in politics and is the obvious choice for our next president. Harry Reid is a moron (well, I’ll go along with that one).

More tomorrow. I know politics bore you but I feel like a hypocrite talking to you

You and your racist friends

~Miss R

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