Calling Mr. Rogers

evil banjo.

This is an old duplex. The neighbors and I share the front porch. One of them is a drummer, and in fact I’ve played a gig with him before.

Six months ago he decided to teach himself the banjo.

When the weather gets over 63F outside said neighbor will sit on the porch and practice. On Monday he was out there for HOURS. Playing the same three chord tune.

Over and over and over he played until I could hear my brain cells explode . Barely, as the banjo was already drowning out the stereo, voices in my head, and traffic noise on the street.

Normally we don’t have a problem. In the summer the windows are open, and my grand piano and vocals (with a mic) can he heard on the street. All of the guys next door play in a band and practice in their basement. Many Sunday mornings we’ve awoken to the dulcet sounds of a new punk song. Which is fine. Dig punk. They’ll all sit outside in the summer and jam –acoustically- as well.

It usually works out. Maybe it’s the upcoming surgery, tinged with the traditional depression and agitation. Whatever the reasons I wanted to open the door, walk the five feet over to  my neighbor and bash his skull in with that fucking banjo.

If I hear the same three chords again it will be sad for his family and friends. But a blessing to the musical scene in Reno.

Please won’t you be my neighbor?

~Miss R

-cartoon by Fuzzy Gerdes-

3 thoughts on “Calling Mr. Rogers

  1. Makes me wonder if your neighbour either

    a) has been drinking/doing drugs too much and so doesn’t realise what he’s doing


    b) sees himself in the deep south playing the banjo in between screaming out “Squeal lil piggy!” whilst having his way with out of towners of the male variety

    The banjo can be a good thing but whilst a guitar can sound good when you have a three chord repetoire (by making sure you’re in a band usually), a banjo requires more finesse due to its sound.

    Whatever the reason for his Deliverance-esque habit, I applaud your self control in not burying the hatchet in a literal manner. Perhaps he practises on the porch because his friends/family/anyone who is aware of his existence is about as likely to allow him to practise banjo playing as they are to let him perform heavy dentistry on them without anaesthetic. Time to ask the friends/family/random people who seem to be living there.


  2. hahahaha. In his defense he IS a good drummer
    ( How do you tell if the stage is level?
    The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.)

    But he DOES have that goatee unshaven thing going on. Totally Deliverance. hmmmm


  3. I know the feeling. My neighbor plays the ukulele on his porch, which is adjacent to my porch. He knows more than three songs, but no songs that do not have the A-minor chord. It is the most depressing chord in music.


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