Why You No Call? The Children Miss You. I wanna slap you upside the head.

Said no one to me ever. I DO wanna slap you upside the head. You being the Royal You. Similar to the Royal We but spelled Oui. Now it time for a kick ass make-up of days offline. Laissez les bons temps rouler!
Note to Le Clown: This is New Orleans (Cajun) French so don’t be going and gagging at it. I beg your magnificent forgiveness for great times and awful grammar. Speaking only English, Russian and German (which is handy) just recognizing French is fab for moi. Another story for another day.

Changed my wireless/router name to ‘Stephen Hawking Is Locked In My Basement.’ I have no life.
Neither does Stephen….
I DO know how to party. Even without the booze I scare small children. My own is damaged for life. But she looks Mahhhhhvalous.
Please, won’t you help a starving disturbed family? Please send all of your cash to…. me. Information located at page bottom.

Have been so busy with work parties and the Demon Seed’s visit that there are 705 Unopened emails in my inbox. I see a mass delete coming.

Burning Man tickets came in the mail for both myself and my daughter.

an average playa dust storm

Many of you know what happened to my lovely girl demon seed last year. She is coming on back anyway. My sweetie told me ‘Mom, I am NOT going to let some deranged freak ruin what is one of the best weeks I’ve ever had.’ That’s my doll. Saw her last week.
Was supposed to visit her in San Francisco this week. Damned money, or rather lack of, is ass.

We’ve all (Spanky’s Wine Bar and Village) started the yearly mass work-parties up in the Nevada desert to do maintenance, rebuild and build new big kid toys for the camp. Think carnival rides for pervs AND kids. No really, THINK about it.
We have the Teeter Totter of Death, centrifuge (the merry-go-round you push and pull to get spinning) Chairway to Heaven, and two new rides this year.
Having the Orgasmatron for the 15th year on the playa is just icing. We’re not called Spanky’s based on the Little Rascals films.

Here’s a video of our Spank-O-Matic

Okay, just wanted to check in. Miss all of you, all of your writing, all of your smiles. I need ’em. Giving them out for free too.

Rock On Kids. Off to 4th of Juplaya in another week. Hidden Hot Springs on the playa, 1500 people instead of the 60,000 at Burning Man. Firearms, Frogbat… I’ll take a few pics. Spanky’s is making an official presence this year.
No one is in charge of this thing so no one is ever arrested. How cool is that?

Fuck I love summer.

56 thoughts on “Why You No Call? The Children Miss You. I wanna slap you upside the head.

  1. LOVE it! I am so happy to hear you are getting ready for the playa! Much love, my chica. ❀ Take oodles of pictures and love to demon seed. xxx


    • Hells yeah Red! Love at you too and get your ass out here to Burn one year. Going to be Number nine (number 9 number 9) for me so don’t know how much longer I’ll go.
      So say my best camp mate friends who have been attending for 19,17, and 16 years hahahahahaha.
      LOVING your books MUAH!


      • Yes lots of photographs okay and how
        wicked of you to add a new profile picture πŸ™‚
        You have all the Zombies smiling away like
        Ghouls on weed, actually there’s a few of
        my skeletons licking their bones too, I would
        have said lips but they don’t have any 😦 lol

        I am pleased that your daughter is doing so
        well and is not letting the creeps spoil her fun
        of Burning Man, she is a brave young woman
        but then she has you for her mom, true grit is
        something that runs in the family and that is
        absolutely brilliant πŸ™‚ Have a lovely rest of the
        evening Miss. R and be wicked, like me πŸ™‚

        Andro xxxx


        • Thank you for the mention of my daughter Andro. I’m so happy she’s doing better as well πŸ™‚
          Promise pics again this year and I WILL be Andro-Wicked. Look! A new action Verb! hehehehehe


  2. Demon Seed gets her strength from her mom.
    Have a blast, Miss B. I’ll let you know if I hear the cries (of pleasure) from the Spank-O-Matic out here on the east coast.


    • Guap, if I can’t make you come (out) to hear the Burn then failure has set in.
      I AM sending a pic of me doing the naked bar dance. BTW There IS a real famous playa Naked Tiki Bar. We fuck with each other every year; ‘yeah, go over to Spanky’s and ask for a blow job. Tell them The Tiki Bar sent you, then you’ll get free drinks from both bars for the whole week!
      Uhhhhhhhh do you have any idea how many cretins have fallen for this? And how much fun we have?


    • This is my hope every year Guap. Last weekend we re-pained the Spank-O-Matic and drizzled red paint over the top… looks like a serious ass whipping took place.
      It’s great to be with your best crazy friends to make other people smile. and scream.


  3. Rachael, I’m not sure which gave me the biggest grin: β€œWhy You No Call?”, β€œStephen Hawking Is Locked In My Basement,” or that crazy β€œSpank-O-Matic” thing!!! πŸ˜†

    Have fun at the β€œ4th of Juplaya” thing. I have just the barest grasp of what exactly that is, but the β€œno one is in charge” bit smacks of a real blast! πŸ˜€


  4. You must be so very proud of your daughter, Ms. B… she sounds like such an incredibly strong and wonderful person (I know where she gets that from)!
    Also, I can’t wait to check out your photographs (big surprise, right)!
    AND ‘Stephen Hawking’ is the best name for a router… ever! I love it! Speaking of which, that ‘Hawking vs. Einstein’ thing you posted a while back was TOO funny! Um… I’m pretty sure it was on your blog that I saw that… right?! I mean, it is super-sciencey around here, so (although my memory always fails me)…


  5. I’m glad (and a tad jealous) that you’ll be hitting the playa again, reeeeeeally happy to hear demon seed will be there too, definitely her mothers child (no, that’s not a bad thing, quite the opposite considering how awesome you are).

    Hopefully next year I’ll be able to join in the excitement, assuming the authorities don’t think I’m a problem (quite a stretch there) and allow me into the country.


  6. Hope you are having fun Miss. R
    and not letting that evil doctor have
    his wicked way with you 😦

    The Spankomatic will need to be
    improved for any comics down the
    trousers cheats, unless all have
    to be bare bottoms, now that would
    definitely work on some of those
    hard to smack butts πŸ™‚ lmao

    I am just thinking of all those semi
    clad ladies now πŸ™‚ How do you mean
    don’t be so naughty, well it was you
    that started it πŸ˜‰

    Have a wicked start to your week Rachael πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

    Andro xxxx


    • Was working in the desert building for Burning Man, then partied and had fun with our our camp at 4th of Juplaya, Working in on the Burning Man build under he evil fucking hot shiny thing in the sky right now.
      Miss you though xoxoxoxo


  7. I am just popping in to see what you are getting up
    to, hope it is something incredibly wicked and naughty πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰
    A typical weekend for you then Miss. R πŸ˜‰ lol

    Andro xxxx


  8. Just calling in to give you a spanking, I mean
    to find out what you are getting up to my great friend πŸ™‚
    I hope that whatever it is, that you are enjoying
    every slap and tickle as they say πŸ™‚ lol Oh and being
    as wicked as ever πŸ™‚ Have lots of naughty fun now, or…

    ELSE? πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ lmao

    Andro xxxx


  9. Have been in hospital for almost two weeks. Lost all feeling in legs and hands now too, and pain in back and hands has increased to 11.
    Am in hospital until I can walk and take care of myself. Neurological disease called Transverse Myelitis.,One in a million people get it. Docs know nothing really. cannot think straight, fall and hit my head -no comments πŸ˜‰ –
    THIS is the year of the unexpected disease! Watch your back kids.
    p.s. don’t remember how to log in and post. now that is fucked up.
    I may walk in 2 or three weeks. Oh physical rehab how I do love thee


  10. Okay, so you just dropped a bomb and left the building and took the evidence with you. ARGH! Worried and sending healing love, ma chica. ❀ xxx


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