The Absolutely Last Halloween Samhain Post

The Trick or Treaters were done by 8:00 PM.
Only three small groups of children came by all night. Yesterday afternoon I’d rushed over to Longs on California to pick up more candy, just in case we didn’t have enough.
Naturally this leaves me with somewhere in the vicinity of 3 pounds still in the house, plus the additional 4 pounds, just an estimate, that Cate brought home.

My powers never cease to amaze me:
If I wash the car it causes rain.
If I spend money I don’t have on Halloween candy it causes
a lack of marauding children.

Just think what would happen if I were to use
my powers for good instead of evil.

My daughter and her friend arrived back here at base camp by 8:15. This was the final trip home, after having made a pit stop earlier in the evening to lighten their loads.

I wound up driving my daughter’s friend home.
The smell of warm toasty fires and leaves hit me as I stepped outside. It was what I didn’t see that made me sad.
No groups of kids laughing and parading down the streets. There were very few porch lights on either. The sure sign of candy there for the asking!
How could this be?

One friend postulated that it was because all the kids went to the ‘rich’ neighborhoods. Sorry but I don’t buy that one. This is a rich neighborhood, despite our abode. Oh alright it’s not rich but it is a compilation of (over-priced) 450K homes mixed haphazardly with million dollar turn of the century mansions. Last year we lived in a decidedly blue-collar neighborhood and we had far more kids at the door.
Of course we also had the ever growing legions of parents who drive their kids from house to house.
What the hell is up with that anyway? The little bastards are going to get really obese if they don’t walk off the icky orange-wrapped taffy candies. Not to mention….. who’s giving out candy at their houses? The cheap bastards.

No Halloween for you

The overwhelming draw of Halloween to a kid is the spookiness factor. Walking down the block in the dark with your friends. Never knowing what the next stop would bring, what creepy haunted house you’d spy, or if you’d get the good chocolate bars or the stupidass Braches taffy. Worse yet the peppermints from the old lady on your street.

Halloween for kids is falling by the wayside. I personally believe it’s the parties held by churches, activity centers and schools which encourage a ‘family atmosphere’. For some reason this seems to give parents a false sense of security. Let’s face it. If a pedophile wanted to jump my kid they would want to hang out with, oh I don’t know, a roomful of KIDS?!

Razor blades in apples are an urban myth (except at my house of course) as is LSD injected into fruit or candy. Would you waste your psychedelic drugs on some rabid ankle-biter? Hell no. You’d share them with your friends. Dear God.

Speaking of God, there’s been a push over the last 10 years by some whackos to have Halloween considered a ‘satanic’ holiday. When I was living in Idyllwild 10 years ago the village decided that the traditional ‘Halloween Carnival’ name was too Demonic and Dark. The name was changed to the Great Pumpkin Carnival. Gag me.

Yet another perfectly good pagan holiday wrecked with religious dogma. In deference to my own spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof) I put out our traditional ‘dumb supper’ to honor my family and friends who have passed over the years. This morning I took the plate of food and consigned it back to the earth. It’s a calming and important ritual honoring loving connections. It dates back to the times far before Christianity and Judaism. It evokes serenity for me

Attention Fundies: All Souls was originally an ancient holiday honoring dead ancestors, and renamed to bring the pagans into the fold of Christianity. What’s wrong with leaving a few vestiges of the old celebration intact? Celebrating the passing of loved ones cannot help but intertwine with death and darkness. Making light of such things help to calm the basic human fear of death.
Doing away with what is really a healthy coping mechanism is sicker than any twisted ideology linking an homage and celebration to the work of an alleged devil.

Christian fundamentalists are trying to ruin Halloween, as they ruin the real intent of Christianity; acceptance, peace and love. How sad for us, our children and our future generations if they succeed.

So in a lazy, non media-savvy and obsessed society we have effectively done away with the one day that really IS for kids to enjoy and parents to wax nostalgic.
We’ve replaced it with Halloween parties for adults, where the women are encouraged to dress like half-assed strippers and the men like their pimps. The number of truly inventive and bizarre costumes dwindles year by year.

This depresses me greatly. I’m so happy to have been free to wander around our neighborhood scaring the little kids, carefully counting each piece of candy, and making note of the dentist’s house to avoid next year. The asshole always gave out toothbrushes.

Organized Halloween parties bite. Organized ANYTHING bites.

Think I’ll start in on that left-over candy in the house. The majority of it I’m donating to one of the food banks.
Except the apples and razor blades. Those are for my own kid.

~Miss R

The Postal Service
Currently listening to:
Give Up: The Postal Service
Release date: By 18 February, 2003