Erection Night 2012!

Like many of my fellow Americans I shall be happy when the election is over.

Am only hoping that we do not receive the same fabulous result as 2000. Some of you may remember that the country elected Al Gore as our President. Bush was placed in office.

This is another close race. Please goddess, let this shit be over by the time I go to bed tonight.

Have no idea who will win. Placed my vote; which cancelled out my roomie.

As it should be, we both laughed our asses off  just thinking about it. Hey America: Wake up. Read your constitutional law and the codes of jurisprudence, electoral statutes and oh I dunno… history?
Difficulty Rating HIGH: Describe the manner in which laws and bills are made and passed.

We’re frighteningly similar (and ignorant) to Britain or any other monarchy with a ‘democratic’ process.
Who is in the congress and senate? Who is president? They balance (or unbalance) each other. Or in this country’s case…. fight each other to the death.
Of the public.

Will be slap-happy glad to see the unending and mind numbing political TV advertising go away. Thrilled to keep my head down as zealots begin their arguments around me. Orgasmic to begin watching my other favorite sport… Hockey!
Oh wait. I’m fucked.

Think it’s time to move. An exotic island in a banana republic. You know, just like Nevada, but with beaches and boat drinks.

It’s time to stop hating people for their political ideology and go back to hating them for who they are.

~Miss R

* Thanks to Ahmnodt Heare, Scholar Mel and the Wombies for their tireless support during this campaign

Annual 9/11 Post. An Ex-Pat New Yorker looks at the Tragedy

Written originally on 9/15/2006


——————————————————————————–

Was going to write a blog on 911 about my feelings, fears, and thoughts on the 5th anniversary of the tragedy.
Instead, I found myself profoundly saddened and depressed watching all of the coverage and those horrific pieces of film once again. My head spins from knowing that 5 years later the site of the WTC is still a gaping hole in the ground, with no memorial, conspiracy nuts abounding, a country divided in bi-partisan fashion yet again, and no idea where Osama is located. Betraying our trust the government lied to us and managed to convince enough citizens and law-makers that there was a connection to Iraq and the WTC bombings.
So, we still fight a war in Iraq seemingly learning nothing from the pain inflicted on individual people by an enemy they do not recognize.
An invisible ‘enemy’ for virtually all of them.

These things kept me from writing until today. Apologies for the tardy musings.

I lived in NYC all through the 1980s and still have in-laws and close friends there. I have taken my visiting California family to the top of the WTC, and loved having dinner at Windows on the World.
I was so lucky on 9/11 and not one of my circle was injured or incinerated. We had one ironic tragedy so I shall pass this along instead of becoming fucking morose again.

My Father-in-Law Joe was working in WTC Tower Two for a German company on February 26, 1993 and managed to escape unscathed after that first terrorist bombing killed six Americans and injured 1000.
Joe was able to get out of his office and walk all the way home to Brooklyn. We had lived in the Sheepshead Bay area, where the rest of the family still lives. That is a long-ass walk from lower Manhattan.
On September 11 Joe was still working for that firm. 30th Floor. While we were in California watching the Towers get hit, and then collapse, I called my (by then) ex-husband to see if he had heard from his mom and Joe.
Naturally no one could get through on the phones. I still corresponded with that side of the family. After all, they are the grandparents of my daughter.
72 hours after the Towers came down I spoke with Joe on the phone. He had gotten out before the collapse, walked downstairs from his 30th Floor Office, and then once again made his way on foot over the bridge to
Brooklyn and home.
I asked him if he considered transferring to another company since it seemed that Sales were down. He laughed.

Two years ago Joe died of cancer. So while I was spared telling my daughter that her Grandfather died on 9/11 it still fell to her father and I to inform her of his untimely death. Did the ash, asbestos, and visible debris have anything to do with his cancer?
We will never know.

I DO know this: The aforementioned series of incidents presents one of the greatest ironies I have ever witnessed.
A miraculous escape on two occasions. Only to be felled in the end by an invisible enemy after all.
Take care of each other, life is fleeting and ephemeral. Give your family and friends an extra hug and kiss and be grateful for each day that you have with them.

~Miss R

Currently listening:
Lyle Lovett and His Large Band
By: Lyle Lovett
Release date: 25 October, 1990

It’s Money that I love… nothing to see here..no. really

Randy Newman is one of my musical heroes. Too many people associate his music with ‘Short People’, which he didn’t want to be released as a single.

Here’s the twisted Newman.. that I love

S

Dial M for….. ‘M’ is for Murder

Here’s my newest hit tune to try and get your ire up. Or Irish. Or Hebe. Perhaps Eye-talian.

Mitt Romney could be a blood relative. Scary.

Before this honorarium here’s a story dealing with murder. Well you faithful readers know PF2 from previous posts. New readers? PsychoFuck2; The last ex-husband.

So anyway he’s buried in the old farmhouse in Michigan. The one I gave over to PF2 in order to escape. Now I’m forced to leave this hip home in Reno due to lack of space.

PF2 lost my house in foreclosure. I was so depressed the party at my house was broken up by the police.

Luckily for the new owners of the place in Michigan the vegetable garden has awesome soil.

Naw not the money is making me move. Everybody Lies.

Yeppers. The basement is full. Despite The Shining furnace. Could not get the damned bodies into the wood or coal burner. Tall bastards. That’s the way I like it like it like it uh huh uh huh uh huh.

Anyway the ground has been frozen solid here in Reno for 5 months. This is NOT a funeral home. No room at the Inn. Hell, I adore dating… just not most of the dates. Basement is full. Garden can’t be dug up for at least another 4 weeks.

Moving is the only option. Oh, I’m not a nutjob like the White City murderer. Just a conscientious dating and single gal. And what’s a fire poker between friends?

 Anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. On to More Murder

Ode to Mitt Romney

 

Mitt Romney Mitt Romney Mitt Romney
You‘re acting the ‘publican zombie.

Mitt Romney Mitt Romney Mitt Romney
Are you sure that you’re not the commie

Mitt Romney Mitt Romney Mitt Romney
Your wardrobe is bought via Palin

The losers behind in the polling
Get cash for the clothes from the mailman

Mitt Romney Mitt Romney Mitt Romney
Your RNC vests are so omni

Can hardly wait till you’re in the bathroom
Just tapping your foot with a zoom zoom

Mitt Romney Mitt Romney Mitt Romney
How can you stay ‘way from the Blacks and Jews

Your comments on all Anti-Mormon
Are all responses to morans.

Mitt Romney Mitt Romney Mitt Romney
Your voting is such a di’chotmy

Think self-deportation shall work
And medical care is for jerks

Mitt Romney Mitt Romney Mitt Romney
I know that you’re just fucking sorry

If murder was legal in this state
You’d be in my garden in slate

No Ted Nugent on this one. Still thinking of a video producer. Oh wait. I’m a  TV producer. Hmmmm need casting suggestions. Any suggestions or volunteers?

M is for Murder. Of our country.

~Miss R

Stop Cispa

This was posted by my dear friend Max Adams She is founder of the the Academy of film Writing in Los Angeles, award winning screenwriter, activist, sought after lecturer and amazing, intelligent and insightful woman. She is also one of the funniest and most caring people I’ve ever met.
If YOU are an artist of any integrity -or a concerned citizen in regards to censorship on the Net, illegal monitoring, or government intrusion into our writing, take a look at this clip.
Max has previously posted several insightful pieces on SOPA. Check out her blog ‘Celluloid Blonde.’
~Miss R

celluloid blonde

 

 

View original post

Orgies for Abstinence

And now an Important Message from the Candidate for the Rest of Us. You know… with brains. Ahmnodt Heare!

 

Ahmnodt Heare for President

The United States have historically fought wars for peace. It must be working because we have been doing it for years. It is in this spirit that I believe we should promote abstinence through orgies.

Certain events prevented me from planning the last two “Orgies for Abstinence”, which could explain why they went so well.  I am back and want this to be the best ever!  Official “Orgies for Abstinence” events are held twice a year:

  • The first Friday after Easter – This assures that all those who had chosen to give up abstinence for Lent to participate.  (April 13 is the Friday after Easter in 2012.)
  • Election Night – This is an activity that allows Americans what it is like to be a politician.

I am a firm believer in abstinence.  The government has been saying that the “War on Drugs” has been working and that wars in the…

View original post 128 more words

A post from 5:00 am -or- The Day The Earth Turned Day-Glo

Enjoy the subtitle best. Nothing like Germ Free Adolescents for this piece. And yes I WAS a punk before you were a punk.

Okay what provoked the last 80’s classic punk tune references?

The joys of my being a (actually 18 year old) teenager combined with my mom and abject horror. No not the cool and dulcet Dexter kind where you see mom hacked to death. We should all be so lucky. So, clearly the point  of this post is my discovery cure for cancer. Not really. Need to call Hawking, go through his bullshit excuses (but I can’t waaaaalk Rachee!).
All he needs to do is present my paper to a peer reviewd group. Status but really? The gut wrenching laughter he inspires in my cold black heart. Knee-Slapper.

It’s the generational freakishness that so many are bereft of experiencing in their lives.

ADDED BONUS FEATURE:

utter creepiness, probable onset of a manic state and -are you ready?- SEX SEX SEX and FREE BEER!!! * (valid only in mainly Muslim populated countries and most of Utah)

I haven’t slept in  48 hours, haven’t had so much as a beer in the last week or so, and have not experienced a true manic episode for close to 15 years. The times it has occurred during those last 15 years have always been due to a badly conceived and mixed cocktail. Of medication. Prescribed by  physician.

The meds not prescribed by  doctor (at least to me) are donated to favorite charities: Save the Whiners: Rush Limbaugh CEO , Ahmnodt Heare for President Campaign (he uses ALL donations to help the less fortunate. Obtain sexual favors and/or votes from strippers, whores and/or mostly the same; lobbyists.  The crap dealers in Fabulous Las Vegas!  Pets! And my all time American charitable foundation : Votes From the Texas Deceased and Legalized Euthanasia for all politicians who have been CEO’s of conglomerates, any attorney running for office,  Real Estate Developers and anyone else who -by consensus of Ahmnodt’s Board of Directors and noted Psychiatrists–  Religious Nuts and people who should be considered sub-moron but now proclaim their ‘gentlemanly C grade average’ at Yale.

Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot by Al Franken

Do you even comprehend the fiscal conservatism of this candidate? From ALL parties.

A Typical YoYo-Dyne manic episode (no employee names can be used due to pending litigation)  usually manifests  symptoms in the following manner:  Sleep deficit, grinding each particle of debris and enamel from teeth, a thorough cleaning under the bottom of tables with toothbrushes and Murphy’s ois soap, overeating to the point of re-joining the Scarf and Barf Club,  re-arrange the ant hills in the front yard, rearrange  the utensil drawer..34 times, and oh shit look at the time. Still have to comb the carpets and vacuum the cat.

Creepiness and SEX SEX SEX!

Remember that cursed time when you had 5 or 6 friends over to visit and party between school breaks? You lived in a dorm on campus, so stayed with mom and her husband during vacation. The night EVERY ONE of your friends heard  the moaning of sexual pleasure emanating from my mother. Outside with hubby. In the hot tub. I was 18 remember? Completely scared for life.

Until that fab memory came back to haunt me like a Donner Party member with bad table manners. And usurped mom’s status.

Just as I was positive I could sleep (after 3 sleeping pills) it dawned on me that I could hear my daughter, my beloved Demon Seed, and her (strictly uncommitted on her part, and he has accepted it) Reno beau -playing the music REALLY loudly for 3:00 am in her bedroom.

Too loud. Got up to brush my teeth (count for today: 6 brushings) and immediately understood why the music was so loud. Yes. SEX.  Loud, headboard pounding sex.. and worse the sounds my naive and wallflower daughter was, well, moaning.

Not sure what’s more fucked up and deserved of 72 hours with no sleep. But the synchronicity factor between hearing mom doing the nasty and my daughter doing the ‘wonder where she got it’ freak on nasty haunted me. Poste Haste.

Hear I sit… loony from lack of sleep, possible onset of mania (whoa dude have you ever SEEN my Marie Antoinette outfit? The Napoleon version I’d had made up upon my diagnosis is just, too, well dykish for me. I’d be a lipstick lesbian if I switched teams permanently.  And oh fruit of my loins you are already happily bi-sexual. At 11 she looks up at me and says ‘Mommy I think I’m bi’. Please realize that she was a late bloomer and couldn’t even look at her OWN naked body until 9 months ago). I said ‘that’s great  honey. I want you to be happy! She skipped off quite pleased.

She already  knew many of my friends were/are queer. Hell, I’m a musician. Who got her professional (or in my case unprofessional -rim shot-) start playing piano and singing at gay and lesbian bars in the Los Angeles area.

Get To the Fucking Point Already!

Tried to pass along the import ideals to my daughter. She hates no one. Unless a particular jackwagon pisses her off.

But but but THE MOANING and Headboard banging.. and being humiliated in front of friends who had known  my mom for years. It Burns. IT BURNS.

Well, will never get any sleep now, almost time to make the coffee. OH GOD MAKE IT STOP. My MIND WOULD BE A GREAT PLACE TO WASTE right now. Oh god orgasms coming (don;t even think it) from two people I NEVER wanted to hear them from… Age 18…in college. Hand me that Xanax!

Oh dear god they’re at it again. Bed Bounce, How nice. Oh, please shoot me I’m only the piano player

~Just Another Run of the Mill Mom and Daughter in Reno…. but you may continue to address me as

~Miss R

addendum: IT BURNS OH DEAR GOD

 

Wow. Let’s Give Ourselves A Hand. Or A Keyboard.

Here’s a bow to each and every one of my fellow writers, bloggers and site admins that participated in yesterday’s Black-Out to protest SOPA and the  associated PIPA proposed bills.

The numbers really did make a difference and the legislation has been tabled. For now. Came across two articles earlier today stating that these items are not dead. Plans to embalm their corpses and try again in February are rumored to be in the works. Apparently in the hopes that bloggers and site owners have the attention span of an inbred feline.

In the interim here’s a bit of amusement. And many thanks to our community. Am glad to have been a part, and hope to have imparted information to those net citizens who were not aware of the true ramifications.

So let’s take a peek at the author of SOPA and his webpage… -wicked smile-

~Miss R

YoYo-Dyne Will Be Dark Today to Protest the Protect IP Act

YoYo-Dyne Propulsion Systems

Protests The Protect IP Act

Many websites are blacked out today to protest proposed U.S. legislation that threatens internet freedom: the Stop Internet Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA). From personal blogs to giants like WordPress and Wikipedia, sites all over the web — including this one — are asking you to help stop this dangerous legislation from being passed. Please watch the video below to learn how this legislation will affect internet freedom, then scroll down to take action.

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

Not In The US? Petition The State Department.

“I am writing to you as a
voter in your district. I urge you to vote “no” on cloture for S. 968,
the PROTECT IP Act, on Jan. 24th. The PROTECT IP Act is dangerous,
ineffective, and short-sighted. It does not deserve floor consideration.
I urge my representative to vote “no” on SOPA, the corresponding House
bill. Over coming days you’ll be hearing from the many businesses, advocacy
organizations, and ordinary Americans who oppose this legislation
because of the myriad ways in which it will stifle free speech and
innovation. We hope you’ll take our concerns to heart and oppose this
legislation by voting “no” on cloture.”

Join The Strike! and add this to your site

Fight For The Future may contact you about future campaigns. We will never share your email with anyone. Privacy Policy

Learn More:

Watch the video · American Censorship page · View the Infographic
Read SOPA on OpenCongress · Read PIPA on OpenCongress

The three most definitive articles on SOPA and PIPA: Free Speech, Problems, Security

A Ron Paul Dance

Had to add the video, for old times sake.

If you’re foolish enough to think that Ron Paul didn’t  ‘know about’ the first person newsletters bashing Jews for almost 10 years and his other fabulous. sorry loon, crap then ignore the video.

Wanted to put the song up for Ron’s platform speeches though. You’re welcome Ron. Expect a Cabinet position for Miss R.

An Ex-Patriate New Yorker Looks at 9/11

I originally wrote this on 9/15/2006

——————————————————————————–

Was going to write a blog on 911 about my feelings, fears, and thoughts on the 5th anniversary of the tragedy.
Instead, I found myself profoundly saddened and depressed watching all of the coverage and those horrific pieces of film once again. My head spins from knowing that 5 years later the site of the WTC is still a gaping hole in the ground, with no memorial, conspiracy nuts abounding, a country divided in bi-partisan fashion yet again, and no idea where Osama is located. Betraying our trust the government lied to us and managed to convince enough citizens and lawmakers hat there was a connection to Iraq and the WTC bombings.
So, we still fight a war in Iraq seemingly learning nothing from the pain inflicted on individual people by an enemy they do not recognize.
An invisible ‘enemy’ for virtually all of them.

These things kept me from writing until today. Apologies for the tardy musings.

I lived in NYC all through the 1980s and still have in-laws and close friends there. I have taken my visiting California family to the top of the WTC, and loved having dinner at Windows on the World.
I was so lucky on 9/11 and not one of my circle was injured or incinerated. We had one ironic tragedy so I shall pass this along instead of becoming fucking morose again.

My Father-in-Law Joe was working in WTC Tower Two for a German company on February 26, 1993 and managed to escape unscathed after that first terrorist bombing killed six Americans and injured 1000.
Joe was able to get out of his office and walk all the way home to Brooklyn. We had lived in the Sheepshead Bay area, where the rest of the family still lives. That is a long-ass walk from lower Manhattan.
On September 11 Joe was still working for that firm. 30th Floor. While we were in California watching the Towers get hit, and then collapse, I called my (by then) ex-husband to see if he had heard from his mom and Joe.
Naturally no one could get through on the phones. I still corresponded with that side of the family. After all, they are the grandparents of my daughter.
72 hours after the Towers came down I spoke with Joe on the phone. He had gotten out before the collapse, walked downstairs from his 30th Floor Office, and then once again made his way on foot over the bridge to
Brooklyn and home.
I asked him if he considered transferring to another company since it seemed that Sales were down. He laughed.

Two years ago Joe died of cancer. So while I was spared telling my daughter that her Grandfather died on 9/11 it still fell to her father and I to inform her of his untimely death. Did the ash, asbestos, and visible debris have anything to do with his cancer?
We will never know.

I DO know this: The aforementioned series of incidents presents one of the greatest ironies I have ever witnessed.
A miraculous escape on two occasions. Only to be felled in the end by an invisible enemy after all.
Take care of each other, life is fleeting and ephemeral. Give your family and friends an extra hug and kiss and be grateful for each day that you have with them.

~Miss R

Currently listening:
Lyle Lovett and His Large Band
By: Lyle Lovett
Release date: 25 October, 1990