Spring! It’s Hobo time in Reno

ittle Nugget Reno

the famous (and infamous)Little Nugget in Reno. NOTE: guy in picture NOT a hobo

Not sure if you’ve noticed but the increase in hobos? At least here in Reno . It’s Spring-time!

Sadly not trampoline-spring-like but season-Spring-like.

The sewer grates are no longer frozen closed and the parking garages have already had cars broken into. Not to steal a stereo. To piss in. Maybe take a nap as well. Hopefully the latter first. At least when I lived in Brooklyn they just stole your stereo and broke your window. Which is why only a cretin has a car in New York City.

Please pay attention to the examples of Springtime for Hobos and Germany as  there will not be a test later. These are the finest in Reno Hobo quotes of the last few days.

1.” Can I mow your lawn? If it gets any longer it’s very bad for the yard ” Lawn? Are you fucking kidding me? Big-ass Weed patch is a kind description. Then noted that the hobo has no lawn mower or shears. Pretty sure this guy was the ACTUAL Green River killer. Told him that the herd of hobo-eating goats would be here within 24 hours.

2. “You do realize that your house number has to painted on your curb to confirm to law? I’m willing to splash water color numbers using paint from my filthy, inbred, homeless F student’s paint set using this stolen stencil from the Dollar Store . For $5.00.”. Almost fell for this one.
Too bad for this guy; was going to trade him a can of Sterno and a piece of white bread but I’d already used those items to trade for a car wash by another hobo. You should have seen him. Hauling buckets of water from the back yard.Told him the hose was broken and the only water was around back of the house,then through the mud, and out on to the street. Heh. There are actually three spigots along the front of the house. They’re hidden by the weeds that I refused to pay Hobo Number One to cut down.

3.” KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!” There’s a sign on the door (placed Prominently) that says Please Ring Bell. If you are that illiterate yet are still able to find Thunderbird and a shopping cart  to perambulate along the boulevard you are a hobo. And I’m not getting off of my beautiful little ass to answer the door for stupid people. This includes family. Hell, hope it wasn’t Zombie Ed McMahon with that 10 Million dollar check. Hmmmm.

4.  The pathetic alkies in front of the ‘Little Nugget’ downtown. Home of the  famous Awful Awful burger and BEST burger in town. Normally there are a group of hobos collected here, only because the Little Nugget (yes there is a big Nugget but that’s another blog) can’t afford the outside security available ta Harrah’s, The El Dorado, Circus Circus  or any other of the more upscale casinos in town. Actually the Little Nugget Hobos are off about 10 feet from the front door of the Casino.
I give these hobos my left-over burger and fries. Trust me, these are the  high-end Hobos. Well-fed. Usually have a little booze, a kind word (as opposed to the usual grunt or attempted wolf-whistle; difficult with 7 teeth). Speaking of which I’ve noticed a higher ratio of teeth-to-Hobo on these guys.
Have a  good friend that gave them $5.00 one time; to split between them for some booze. Have no idea how many were killed that night in the melee.
No not really. There was no fight. Above mentioned friend TK asked which among the group was their leader. After some head lice scratching, beard fumbling, apparent concentration one of the men stood tall and announced ‘I’m the leader.’  TK handed the Hobo the fiver and told him to get a bottle to split amongst he and his friends. A cheer went up and we made a lot of Hobos very happy that night.
That man, leader of the Little Nugget pack, truly is…..King of the Hobos.

So one day, if you’re in Reno looking for a dive to play slots at, the best burger for a 100 miles and good strong cheap drinks remember me. No really. At this rate I’ll be there (outside) with my melodica, flute and a hat to collect tips.

Don’t feel sorry for me. Just save some fries and half of your burger; easy to do. An Awful-Awful can feed two easily.
Really, anything for a half of an Awful-Awful.
Especially after 2: 00 a.m.

And maybe, just maybe, someday I’ll be Queen of  The Hobos.

Your Reno Update: Lives of the Indigent and Famous

It was brought to my attention that I’ve been a bad girl.
Not in any way I’m accustomed to either. Or enjoy.

No. I was simply told  “You know Rachael you haven’t been posting much lately”  or words to that effect.

I have an excuse. Hell I have myriad excuses. One of my favorites is this:
Well, I’ve been chatting with a dear friend a lot and writing seems so redundant. I haven’t been home much either.
Lame. It is an excuse though.

So here’s a rundown of the past few days. Grab a cocktail or cup of coffee and have a sit-down. Here we go.

Every morning is the same.
Get up. Push the button. Pour the coffee. Get back into bed.
Contemplate the horror that is life.
Get up again. Make the bed.
Check emails, laugh at those less fortunate than myself, write an affirmation (tongue in cheek and only helpful to those who are already tortured and jaded), and maybe go to the gym. Or maybe go skiing. Or maybe just clean the damned apartment.
Some days I just stay inside and play shut-in.

Today was a bit different.
Did the usual morning thing and then went out and finally purchased another turntable. I want to burn my vinyl to MP3’s. Well what’s left of the original collection. Of the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of records in the original collection there remain about 50 or so albums and somewhere around a hundred 45’s.

Divorce(s), moves, attrition, lots of dumbass reasons led to the losses. I did keep the good stuff. You know, out of print releases, imports, stuff that was never released on CD, or just records that have a special place in my black little heart.

After picking out the turntable (a USB model with a built in power supply/amp so I can hook it up to the stereo as well) it was back home for a thrilling day of laundry.
Yes, Miss R can never get enough of that shit.
Of course here at Chez Noir there are only two types of loads: black and towels/sheets. At least it’s easy to sort.
After two hours of clothing chores it was off to Battle Born Tattoo Studio to have my tattoo re-colored.

Now here’s where I should have done a ‘before’ pic.
Which of course I didn’t.

If you know me (you lucky bastard!) you’re already familiar with the image. It’s a cool Pentagram surrounded by leaves and a few tiny roses. My own design but now a bit faded. It’s located on my upper left arm and can be easily covered by a cap-style t- shirt. In case of angry villagers with pitchforks. Or my dad.

The tattoo dates back to the year my daughter was born, 15 years ago. When it was done I was the only woman in the town sporting a tattoo. It was ungodly hip and very scary to most of the townsfolk. As it was meant to be.
Don’t forget, back in those days I was a successful and well-respected (stop snickering) business owner.

Here’s what Blue at Battle Born did for me tonight. All kinds of tarted up!

Miss R's Pentagram tattoo

So tonight I sit here. Slightly sore after two and half hours with a needle plunging in and out of my arm, and my turntable playing through headphones but not through my computer.
Have the software installed but am still incapable of (clearly) getting the wiring right. Or something.
Well tomorrow is another day, and since there’s no skiing until Thursday I predict by tomorrow night I’ll be burning vinyl like a madwoman, arm back to normal, and the rest of the laundry finished.

There you have it.
A Reno update. At least it got written.
But Wait!  You could read about last weekend…

I’ll give you a hint:
Friday night started out at the Polo Lounge, segued to the Truckee River Pub Grille and a pack of cretins along with the usual suspects, then back to the Polo with TK for dancing, a near collision with DJ Bob-Bobby-Bob-O-Rama, TK’s Table O’ Bitches, more dancing, and ending up at the Little Nugget for an Awful-Awful at 3:00 am. Another successful Friday night. Nothing and no one broken.

Ha, and some of you ask why I don’t write about everything.
You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth.
Okay maybe you can.
It just exhausts me reviewing it.

~Miss R

Currently listening:
Sparkle in the Rain
By: Simple Minds