Shiny Happy New Survey

alrighty then. there seems to be a miasma of despair and sadness on this blog of late. damned broken heart.
in any case i have decided to write a survey.
as well i should.
it’s cheery.
you’ll like it.

Confused? Perfect.

1. If you were to kill a man, horror movie style, which kitchen utensil would you use?
A salad shooter

2. Did you ever swallow a coin?

3. What was the worst gift you’ve ever received?
A 99 cent package of blank cassette tapes from my boyfriend. I had given him a gold and diamond ring. Yeah I’ve been dumb a lotta years since this was in the 80’s..

4. What is your most embarrassing childhood memory?
when my father showed up blind drunk to my senior piano recital.

5. How many kids do you want?
Just one and I already have her

6. Whats your moms middle name?

7. Have you ever operated a fire extinguisher?
Yeah, on my Hyundai on the 91 Freeway outside of Palm Springs. In the middle of No-Fucking-Where-Desert

8. Worst car you ever had to drive and why?
Let me count the ways. No cars….

9. Who do you hate?
No one. I detest everyone though.

10. What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of this year?
a pulse

11. Do you have any reallllly crazy relatives?
Insanity doesn’t run in my family. It gallops.

12. Did you ever wake up under the influence of NyQuil, completely unable to move?
Uh no. Name a FUN barbituate

13. Are you feeling nostalgic right now?
For the way things were a week ago, does that count?

14. Did you own a Lite-Brite?
Never did. I’m still bitter.

15. Can you dive?
You betcha

16. Do you own a mouthpiece for anything?
Ya, two sax mouthpieces and one oboe mouthpiece.

18. Have you ever used a pogo stick?
yeah, I loved em when I was kid

19. Who was the most creative bum you’ve ever met, trying to get some money from you?
One night when TK and I were out a guy asked for a dollar. We said no and he then said “yes but would you LIKE one?”

20. Whats your favorite Jelly Belly jelly bean flavor?
Too fucking random. How about Frost Wine 2001?

21. Favorite food you CRAVE?
TK’s barbeque

22. When was the last time you pulled lint out of your bellybutton?
Wait a minute. I SHOWER every day.

23. Did you ever use someone else’s toothbrush?
probably but I was likely hosed at the time

24. Do you REALLY floss everyday?
no but when I do it’s someone else’s floss

25. What is your favorite cologne/perfume you always wear?
Opium or Coco Chanel. It’s a tie.

26. If you were on Double Dare, would you take the physical challenge?
What the fuck is double dare?

27. What’s the largest living organism that you killed?
The bastard wouldn’t eat the poison mushrooms

28. Did you ever take a lighting bug and smear its guts on your arm so you get a cool glowing effect like war paint?
No you sick fuck. I did catch them on summer vacation in PA when I was a kid though

29. What’s the best toy you’ve ever gotten in a McDonalds happy meal?
I only do sad meals. The toys are usually rocks or really ugly sweaters.

30. if you could be anywhere in the world doing anything right now what would it be?
I’m going to cry now. Piss off.

31. Can you juggle? YES!

32. How do you feel right now?
Like friggin loser. Oh wait. I am.

33. Do you remember that square candy bar called “Chunky”?
yum. I liked Ice Cubes better though

34. Predict the length of the next Peter Jackson movie.
2 years 13 hours and 16 minutes.

35. What was your favorite toy as a kid?
45 singles.

36. Are you willing to go the distance?
Depends on who I’m fighting. Or fucking.

37. Did you answer question 17?
Yes, but only in my head and I’m not telling you the answer
~Miss R

Listening To:
John Hiatt – Perfectly Good Guitar