Hey Hoser!

Look outside! Snoooooooow.

Welcome to Reno, Nevada.

Saturday you’re cruising a book sale in a tank top and the next day it’s snowing and you’re inside with a bottle of wine and your PJs.

Here’s my link of the day. You’ll thank me later. When you’re too tired to look outside of your window.

The Fucking Weather

Day Two: I Fall Down Go Boom

Let’s say you’re heading downhill at a rapid clip on a steep-ass mountain face, and you feel yourself lose control of a ski. Do you know what happens almost concurrently? Your stomach careens out of control as well.

Luckily for this writer there were no injuries incurred. I was covered in snow from pigtails to boots, and had to attempt the amusing crab-walk-thingy-sideways-uphill-movement to retrieve a pole, but other than that no worries.
Jesus. It happened on a steep run but not a seriously difficult run. Grrrrrrr.

It’s one of those things you’d like to blame on an inanimate object, the weather, an ex-husband (see inanimate object for further details), or a deity.
In my case it was Operator Error.
I hate it when that happens.
Not a rock, or ball of ice or some kid slamming into me or even crossing skis.
Nope. Just fucked up somehow.

I go through a lot of life this way.
Wanting to blame outside influences for the falls and bruises but ultimately realizing that someplace along the line I’ve made a damned mistake.

It’s a great day when the worst to befall you is winding up ass deep in snow, face wet, gloves full of ice and feeling foolish.
Yep. A fine day indeed.

~Miss R

Currently listening:
Monty Python’s Spamalot (2005 Original Broadway Cast)
By: Eric Idle
Release date: 03 May, 2005

Skiing with The Goddess Rachael

So I finally got in the first skiing of the season.
Oh sure you scoff. You say ‘Why Rachael! The season will be over in another three weeks.’
This may be true. Actually it is.
Fiddle De Dee.
Today was spec-fucking-tacular.

Figured out how to use the ‘ski bag’ option on the Audi and it’s pretty spiffy.
You open a panel in the back seat and a ski length rubber/plastic tube rolls out. It extends through the middle of the backseats. Your skis don’t drip water all over the car and you have the entire cargo area for boots, jackets, bags, chainsaws and body parts.

Coolness. No wrestling the back seats down or manhandling the skis and poles onto the roof. I like.

This is my first year without a season pass at Mt. Rose, making the pastime of skiing hard on the wallet. So, it’s a good thing I didn’t have a vehicle or any cash until late in the season after all. Flying Spaghetti Monster works in strange and mysterious ways.
Similar to myself.

Started off on a green run to make sure I was still as spastic as last year. Check.
Took the next run a bit faster, then by the third run was working on style (it’s a way of doing!) and by the fourth was almost up to speed.
By the fifth run of the morning I was flying. I felt like a Goddess of the Snows.

I forgot that there’s something I’m actually good at.

A feeling of euphoria and perfect happiness comes when your body, mind, heart and soul are in sync.
It is the moment when body goes on auto-pilot and mind catches the sights and feelings without working on the mechanics of the act.

It’s difficult to articulate.
To paraphrase the Supreme Court… ‘I know it when I feel it.’

For me it only happens with skiing and playing music.

Today I felt that total integration. The sheer joy. I laughed and cried and grinned like a fool.
It’s my religion and spiritual path. Thankfully church was virtually deserted and I had the place to myself.

By the last few runs I had the iPod cranked to 11 and was scaring the crap out of the boarders on Kit Carson and the Slide side back bowl.

I’m screaming down that last run singing along at the top of my lungs and purposely kicking up snow when I carve….

‘OH IT’S NOT THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE COCAINE… I’M THINKING THAT IT MUST BE LOVE!’
Am pretty sure some guy mouthed ‘who the fuck was that bitch with the braids screaming Bowie tunes?’

Well that about covers my morning. Will be back up there again tomorrow. There are Black Diamonds to conquer and it’s Ladies Day;  a lift ticket is $19.00. Cheap cheap cheap.
Also similar to myself.

Tonight I’m gonna cuddle up with a big bottle of ibuprofen and a heating pad. The quads are already screaming in agony.
Oddly enough my past week at the gym hasn’t made up for missing the previous 6 months of work-outs.
Go figure.
I like the burn, and after all… Pleasure is the child of pain.

~Miss R

First Truly Surreal Moment of 2008

Hello Dali.

So I’m doing some shopping at Save-Mart (Albertson’s) this afternoon. It is snowing like a bitch outside.
Inside I realize that this is what’s playing over the store speakers….
On the Dark Side by Eddie and the Cruisers.

Weird. This is gonna be a fucking weird year. Does anyone else but me even remember that movie?

Was accosted by one of the fucking neighbors (yeah the literal fuckers) in the parking lot this morning. Was attempting to figure out how to put the Zamboni into 4 wheel drive. It has an automatic transmission but the 4×4 is a stick shift on the floor. With no clutch.
What. The. Fuck.

You know, if I’m gonna get down on my hands and knees in the snow I can think of a far more pleasurable reason to do so than turning hubs on the truck.

Strange year already. So yeah. There you have it.
Donner Pass is totally closed to traffic today, due to this storm. Guess we’ll be having left-overs tonight instead of Small Daughter ala Rachael. Maybe Stiletto has a recipe.
Oh well.
You can’t always get what you want.

I may have plagiarized that last thought.
Naw.

~Miss R

Currently listening to:
Citizen Steely Dan: 1972-1980
By: Steely Dan
Release date: 14 December, 1993

Snow? Shirley you jest….

The Good News:
There is snow this morning. Lots of snow.
A lumpy yet smooth white coating on my patio table and chairs. It has made the bicycle an abstract work of white glistening art. It’s gonna be a powder day. Mt. Rose is open.
There is plenty of food here at Chez Noir. Thanks to ~B I cleared up a little debacle at Nevada State bank.
There’s music here too. I can make it or listen to it or burn it.

The Bad News:
Have no way to get to Mt. Rose. See above description of bike. You already know about the truck –rolls eyes-.
There is no money for a lift ticket. See above description of bank.
Um I’m still alive and was not struck stupid or dead in the night.

Some days this is as good as it gets.
Or as bad.
Yesterday I rode over 15 miles on my bike doing errands. In the friggin rain. Only wiped out once. Right into traffic on Virginia… BOOM SPLAT OUCH.
Great. Was wearing my only pair of sweats, which are now ruined.
Or
air-conditioned in the knee area depending on if you’re some kind of fucking optimistic cretin or a pragmatist such as myself.

On that note here’s your affirmation for the day!

“Today I will nurture my inner martyr
by purchasing two large pieces of lumber,
a hammer, and a few nails”

So take it easy and by all means let me know if you have a job opening.
Preferably off the books. Preferably where I can work from home and never interact with humans again. Unless it’s on the ski slopes; where I’ll be listening to my iPod at maximum volume and ignoring others at their own peril.


There’s only one thing I like better than skiing and since I am currently sans lover this is
not gonna be a happy happy joy joy day around here.

If you are feeling absurd then feel free to stop by and drop a pack of ciggies in the mailbox.
I’ll make sure that Lurch gets his lazy ass out there and collects them for me.

 

~Morticia

Currently listening:
Free-for-All
By: Michael Penn
Release date: 15 September, 1992

Cold and Divine

My Winter Backyard

Yes, we DO get snow in Reno, Nevada. Just a 45 minute drive to skiing at Mt. Rose and Lake Tahoe. Behold my backyard!

Outside it’s lovely. As if a snow globe flutters and shimmers beautiful flakes into the morning.

It’s snowing, but the Mt. Rose site states there’s only ‘a trace’ of new white stuff up there. Not only that but the temperature is 18F and the winds are up to 25 MPH.

I so detest driving up that mountain while it is actively storming, as the Jeep needs new tires. They’re okay down here and will last until Spring but I get a tad nervous on snow and ice while on that damned windy road.

Here’s a Haiku for today:

Allure of pleasure
Breathes on my soul and cries God
Stupid fucking tires

I skied in Northern Michigan for three full seasons when the temps never rose above 19F and several times at Searchmont in Canada when the temps were 11 Below 0 Fahrenheit.
You do one run, then go inside and warm up, then back out again. All the while trying to keep your goggles from freezing up. I often suspect that my brain is severely damaged. This is usually confirmed by family and friends. An occasional stranger will mention it as well.

The Evil Prince of Las Vegas says it’s absolutely frozen down south as well.

I’m going to stay inside, keep warm, read Henry James (thank you TK) and look forward to skiing tomorrow. If only I still had a fireplace I’d start a pleasing toasty fire.
No probably not. It’s a pain in the tush cleaning the fireplace out.
Sounds divine though doesn’t it.

~Miss R

Currently listening:
The Nightfly
By: Donald Fagen