Piracy on the High Seas! And High Desert!

Quick background to the last month. Quick being relative.
The slow one, think that uncle in the attic.

1. Herding 200 cats (the number of campers/members of Spanky’s Wine Bar: Burning Man). I  am the Bar Mistress.  Also known as the Bar Manager; instructor, finder of manly sized men as bouncers when need arises, and keeper of whips, paddles,  flogging instruments, bar backs(poor minions), wine bottle fillers-another post, keeper of spreadsheets for bar supplies, employer/HR for bar, well hell.
At least I don’t have to get topless. But I do.
Here’s a peek at the bar from 4th of Juplaya last year (58,000 people smaller than the Burn)…and look it’s my name in lights. Well, highlighted links at any rate. Yep… I’m (ta da!) Piano Wench

Here is the art installation I’m happy to work with when it burns on Friday- before the March Off (contest of all the marching bands on the playa -trust me there are at least 20 now but our  Burning Band was the first).

Anubis art installation. Fucking Fab

Wanna know HOW much perverse fun I have? Here’s the link to my camp and fine friends at Spanky’s Wine Bar 

2. Yet more back surgery last month. Have no idea if it helped but it hurt like fucking hell. Cried and screamed the entire procedure. Literally. No, Dr. Mengele II would not put me out totally.
On the plus side am having the other side of the spine done after Burning Man in September. Mengele admitted that he didn’t give me enough IV pain killers last time. It’s a Facet Joint Ablution. Basically searing the nerves at the base of my spine…. to inedible bacon. Lots of Percocet. Except I detest taking it. Have plenty of addictions now thank you very much.

Was at said doc’s office this week. Didn’t know but they do random drug tests. Hell, am on opiates per their prescription so can understand.
Office did one at my first visit three months ago. Gee hard to believe but it was clean. This time the nurse handed me two large (as in quirky/funny) purple dice similar to what I used to sell in my game store. Do NOT get me going on polys you gamer dweebs,  and told me to roll them.

Why? -said I
Random drug test, if you roll 3, 6 or 9 you have to be tested -said nurse
Laughed so hard it hurt. Used to be drug tested by Warner Brothers -as an Exec Producer. Told the GM back then that they should GIVE me drugs to improve scripts and shows. But I digress.

Rolled an 8. No pee-in-a-cup fun. Then advised her when they tested me at the next surgery I will have been on the playa for two weeks…. there might be a spike in the THC levels. She cracked up.


So I go to check my bank account online -which ya do- and see that there are a shitload of ATM charges. Pick up the phone. As I’m waiting notice they are all Withdrawals.

Long story longer: My BEST girlfriend for 5 years stole my debit card, credit card (actually my mom’s credit but a card in my name for emergenies) and all of my cash. Plus a $20.00 chit from Silver Legacy. Don’t ask.

Refused to believe it was her -despite other friends telling me it must be due to the area the ATMs were located. Made police report, bank, etc. Finally the bank called and said they had two pics. It was her. My BEST friend. In the first picture you can see her face full on and in the second she must have realized that there may be a camera. She hid her face behind my money and my debit card. GUT PUNCH.

I barely live on disability and cannot make the bills. She knows this, and has always been very generous to me because of it. She’s has made a habit of taking me out to lunch once a week. We had lots of fun.

I loaned her $25.00 via PayPal several weeks ago because she said she had no money for gas or food for her or her 17 year old son. Never got it back. The day I found out about the theft was a wreck. Best friend (ha!) came over . Told me not to worry, don’t bother calling the police, she’d loan me 1K to make it through. Wellllllll never got a loan and I DID contact the police. It’s her.

She knows now that I know it’s her. No arrests have been made so am sure she’s making up fabulous stories. Have a room mate  now. The day she stole all of my cash/savings/rent/etc I had taken her to the bank to deposit my roomie’s half of the monthly bills. She saw me put in my PIN number several times that day. Bank ‘temporarily’ refunded what was taken via debit card -less $55.00 for the  fucking ‘deductible’ because it was a VISA debit?! three days ago-.

Am out nearly $150.00 between their ‘deductible’, the chit and my cash. Good deal. I make less than 1K a month on SSD.

All in all a Fab month kids. In the words of Howard Jones my hero and mentor in the 80’s…

Send hugs, kisses and booze to to the playa (Burning Man). If you send me your address I WILL send you back a postcard from the Burn. There is the Burning Man (Black Rock City) post office, If nothing else you can keep the fucker and sell it on eBay in a few years. Don’t ask me how I know this year will be valuable 😉

~Miss R
Piano Wench
c/o Spanky’s Wine Bar
8:00 and Esplanade
Black Rock City, NV

29 thoughts on “Piracy on the High Seas! And High Desert!

  1. What the actual fuck?!? That’s fucked up right there. No I’m not trying to see how many times I can say fuck (quite a lot as it turns out), I’m just surprised/dismayed at the situation. Complete bullshit.

    Ok… wooooosaaaaaaaaah. Right, I’m calm now. Ok, calmer. As we say in the UK, want me to send the lads round? Not for a gang bang (although I know it may cheer you up), but to go round to alleged friends place and extract goods/services to the value of debt. Yeah, I know I don’t have any lads to send round but it’s the thought that counts, or so they say.

    Sending virtual hugs and floggings anyway, I’ll rummage about and see what else I can find n send that too.

    Yours barely sane


    • Awwww thanks Null. Hope YOU’re doing alright. Am so behind on blogs and emails -trying to catch up today.
      Burning Man is keeping my senseless mind occupied… and I am virtually accepting your hugs and floggings 😉


      • The Zombies are being despatched immediately, I just hate those thieving bastards and she calls herself a friend, well with friends like her who needs enemies 😦 I hope they catch her and throw the keys away… I know you will enjoy your time away Miss. R and you deserve it too with all the hassle of so called friends and that bleeding Doctor X of torture 😦

        Spanky’s is a hoot so get your whip out, paddle a few unsuspecting backsides and get stripped off, well only the top half, you will need a speciakl tune to get everyone in the niff so hit those keys and be wicked 🙂 I wonder who is being gagged and dominated next? 🙂 lmao

        Have fun Miss. R and forget about that
        loser of a friend, she is scum of the worst kind…

        Androgoth XXx


        • Many thanks for your ghouls of the underworld! I can always count on you Andro.
          As for Spanky’s…. it’s the two weeks a year I do my swtich act….think you know what I mean 😉
          Packing the costumes, paddles and floggers today.


          • Yes I know what you mean Miss. R and do enjoy ALL that Spanky’s has to offer, I had a look around the website earlier, I also watched the piano throwing, highly amusing that one my great friend and as for the thieving creepo, well she is just not worth our time… I hope that after your Sparky’s break that your second op goes very well and that the evil doctor gives you the right pain killers, and ones that kill the pain too, you are having a very hard time of late but guess what we are all rooting for you sooooooooo have fun, paddle away, crack the whip of wickedness and gag anyone with a naughty and wicked stare, unless you can think of anything better of course? 🙂 😉 lol

            Androgoth XXx


            • Wasn’t the piano trebuchet great? This year there is are going to be two great art installations that I will participate in. Here are the urls. Damn Andro you would fit in so very well with we Spankers, deviants, old folks, young folks and wordwide citizens of craziness and self-expression. Check out ANUBIS and
              Burn Wall Street.
              These amazing pieces will both go up in towers of flame Friday night of the Burn, The Man burns Saturday September 2nd. I’ll be leaving here this Sunday about midnight.
              Will pray to Anubis for you and dance like a pagan as he burns; I’m on fire perimeter control for this one.


              • As always you are very kind my wickedly fine and great friend, yes I think that I would blend in rather well, actually I can at this very moment picture you dancing pagan-like and being carefree and wicked all rolled into one, the fire burning nay crackling with the sounds of naughtiness in the air, a nearby paddling extravaganza being played out and screams of sheer delight echoing as more of your wayward friends enjoy the tastes of the desert 🙂 🙂 Okay I am packing my bags 🙂 lol Hey you have a deliciously exciting time, you deserve it Miss. R 🙂 😉

                Androgoth XXX


  2. Awesome! Ugh. Ugh. Meh.

    So, I am craving the post card. I can only imagine my backwoods, idiotic post office will probably put pasties on the pretty side of the post card.

    Meanwhile, MUAH! I know you are going to have a blast 🙂

    Much love,


    • Thanks Red!! email your address and I’ll send you a post card so you can get the Black Rock City postmark. Will make sure it’s an extra tacky one -grin-. Perfect for the fridge, framing, or trash.
      Love you girl!


  3. That. Sucks.
    On the bright side, hopefully Mengele will get you sorted, you have a new roommate who hopefully isn’t a flake, and SPANKY’S!!!!

    And of course, great tune.
    I’ve been listening to one of his Acoustic Over America albums (Howard with guitarist Robin Boult).

    Have a great time in the desert!


    • new roomie is fabulous! couldn’t ask for a better person to have in the house. Very lucky there.
      Glad you liked the old cut of Howard’s. Being a piano player led me to programming synths in the early/mid 80’s, taking more classes, etc because of him. Was afraid I’d get left behind if I stuck to my acoustic instruments.

      I PROMISE to have a spankin’ good time on the playa, and on mimosa day will hoist one in your honor.


  4. Hating the best friend in this scenario, what is her deal? Evil, evil. YES, I would like a postcard, I will email you my (new address) from the new edge of insanity, the apres-foreclosure rental address, LOL. Sometimes bad things turn into good things, I hope this is true for you, Miss R.


    • Thnks for the empathy Bear, and you betcha I’ll send a postcard!
      you can email me your address. Hope you’ve found the martini glasses and aren’t still enjoying your libations from paper cups.
      Tell your parents to unpack the bar first. Okay, you may want to find the bedding and bathing suits. That should cover (heh) your night and day summer clothing needs. Just add cocktails.
      rblackraven -at- yahoo dot com


  5. Talk about awful! Reminds me of after my wedding… my wife broke her ankle and a nurse told her to leave her purse in an exam room while she went to get an x-ray. When she came back, someone had stolen it (along with her credit card, drivers license etc. and a fist-full of gift cards from our wedding). It would have been a million times worse if whoever stole it was her best friend, though! I can’t even imagine! Vomit!
    I hope you are feeling much better, Ms. R… ‘searing’ and ‘spine’ aren’t usually words I would put in the same sentence as, say, ‘soothing’, unfortunately. I just hope it will all be worth it in the end. There’s a good chance of that, though, right? I hope?
    P.S. I’m shameless enough to admit that I would love a postcard!!! Mail? For me? That’s not a bill? Sounds pretty dang sweet!


  6. Okay now THAT sucks. Wedding day injury and complete theft of the gifts? If you could make it through that seems like the marriage part should be fairly smooth sailing.

    I KNOW Menegle II will fix the old back problems eventually. He’s been good at treating the symptoms, plus the new and improved spinal stuff. No cure for what is wrecking my body but diminishing the pain, being able to ski, walk and jump up and down on hotel beds? Gonna do it! Like this doc a lot.
    send me you address asap. via FB or email -which is in Liquorstore Bear’s reply.
    May be leaving for the playa several days earlier than planned.

    Will get a pic of me mailing out postcards to my blogosphere peeps. The Black Rock City Post Office is different every year… and always a hoot.


  7. Wow, some people have all the fun. I don’t know what to say. You need lots and lots of chocolate and wine gums. It won’t help with your finances or pain, but it should make you feel a bit better.


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